Ok, The kids are asleep and I have a bit of time to myself...Wow! I've never written a blog before and I don't really know where to start...!
A lot has changed in the last three weeks and I can feel myself changing at the same time.
If anyone would have told me a few years ago that I would be a 25 year old widow; I would think that would be IMPOSSIBLE to deal with. And just the thought of losing your best friend and lover makes me breath uneasy. It seems so crazy and still so surreal...I haven't lost the plot yet. But I find myself getting through each day working on auto pilot and kind of numb at times to the whole situation.
It's been just over three weeks now since my husband passed away suddenly at the young age of 31. I have 3 beautiful children under the age of 6 and I'm 37weeks pregnant with our 4th child.
This year started off rough (financially) with my husband tearing his achilles tendon and spending 5 months off work to recover. It was tough since we couldn't get any financial assistance from the government. But I learnt that the Lord does provide. Especially to those who are faithful and obedient.
Looking back on the last 6-7months we've had with my husband, it's been more than a blessing. I feel like Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he planned to take my husband back and so he gave us all of that time to spend with him, love him, kiss him and hug him.
Being heavily pregnant my husband did so much around the house and he took the lead to look after our children, so he spent 24/7 with the kids. That in itself I am so grateful for. Our son who turned 1 on the day my husband passed away pretty much spent his whole life being looked after by his father, and as hard as it is to know he won't be around for the next however many years of my sons life, I feel I can only be grateful for the memories captured for my son to see as he grows up.
I know that GOD has a plan for all of us. We don't know what that plan is right now, but he is mindful of us all and our needs.
As I reflect on my husbands life events before we met and the time we had together, I am blessed to see Heavenly Fathers plan unfold and his hand in all things. I can see that my husband was never promised to me for the rest of my life. He came into my life to mould me and to teach me the many life lessons that I have learnt from him. He told me everyday that he loved me (Yes, even when he was angry with me) and that I was a beautiful and strong women. As I look back I can see that had he not done those things I wouldn't be the woman I am today. I know I'll never get over it but those comforting words (that I can still hear him saying) from my husband a long with my faith and testimony I can get through it a day at a time.
God may have not promised my sweetheart to me for the rest of my life, but he has promised that if I can be faithful and obedient I will have my darling again for ETERNITY and that is something I look forward to!
Lots of praying and pondering plus scripture study is helping me through the beginning of this unexpected chapter in life.
Love it Teri!xo
ReplyDeleteLove ya Lina! x
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss Teri lyn. You and your beautiful children are in my prayers. Sending you much love from England. Marie xx
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Marie. That means a lot!
DeleteThank you for letting us share your journey with you. My cousin Chrislyn (from TOFW) wrote a beautiful article & let us know about your blog. Take things minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Know that there are many people who have never met you, but feel of your testimony & are praying for your & your family. Much love!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts and prayers. We have felt the love a long the way. Everyone who has read my blog and commented have been in my thoughts constantly. I know these replies are a couple of months late. But I have been meaning to write back. xoxox
DeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I met your husband about 11 years ago when I did a study abroad thing through BYU in Auckland. He was so full of life and brought joy and laughter to many of the girls in our group. I am shocked and saddened by his passing. I feel blessed to have known Danny. He was always such a cheerful person to be around. May our Heavenly Father continue to bless you and strengthen you through this difficult and heart-breaking time in your life.
Shenna
Thanks Sheena, Yes Dani was always the centre of any laughter.lol. Thanks for taking the time out to read about our story and journey without Dani.
DeleteWe feel your love. xo
Hi Teri lyn
ReplyDeleteI am so SORRY for your loss..I can't even imagine. May the Lord bless you and your sweet family as you go through these next few months.
I LOVE TOFW! Brother Wilcox and the whole crew are amazing. It's my favorite time of year when they come to my hometown in Virginia. How thoughtful of each and everyone to stop by and comfort you in your time of sorrow.
We are truly blessed to have the knowledge of eternal families. You will be in my thoughts and prayers during the next couple of weeks.
Sending much love your way....Heather PS...I hope you will continue this blog!
Thank you for your beautiful comment. TOFW has only been in Australia twice, and I was fortunate enough to go to the first ever Australian TOFW. It was amazing! I left it a new woman! I look forward to attending when it is here next! I hope you have continued to read my blog and follow our familys story :). Yes aren't we so lucky to know that families are Eternal! xox
DeleteTeri lyn, Your story touched me so much. Like you I lost my husband fairly suddenly and like you I was blessed to see the hand of the Lord in providing so many tender mercies in the months before and now in the ten years since his passing. What I know for sure is that our Father in Heaven is aware of each every one of our needs and while we are allowed to experience trials and challenges that seem beyond our ability, these are only here to help us learn and grow to be like Him. You will continue to be blessed with love and support, but in those times that you feel overwhelmed and alone, remember you are not. While we know these things will, in the end, be for our good, for now, just hold your babies close and know that there are people far away as well as those close by who are praying for you and your sweet family. Hugs and tears from a sister in the Gospel from Oregon
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your message! Thank you for sharing your strength and testimony. I feel so much comfort when I read this. Especially knowing that you have walked in my shoes. I hold this close to my heart. Thank you again. Loads of love coming your way. xoxox
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I am touched by your amazing faith and strength! We'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers. They have been felt. xoxox
DeleteTeri lyn,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful testimony of faith through hardship. Thank you for sharing. I just taught my seminary class this morning about FAITH, but your story is a living breathing example of such a divine principle. The Lord loves you, and you have the support of millions around the world who also understand the eternal nature of life and love.
Tracy Maurer
Thank you for reminding me of the Lords love for me through this trial. x
DeleteI was with Shenna and hung out with Danny all the time while we were in New Zealand. What an AMAZING husband you have. He was so cute and witty. We just couldn't get enough of him and were so proud of him when he went on his mission.
ReplyDeleteI remember one night we were hanging out at my host family's home. They were all sleeping and Danny was of course being a goofball. I said to him, "Danny! Shhh!! 6 inch voice!! People are sleeping!" (That's a saying here in the states meaning to only speak so people 6 inches away can hear you.). He grinned at me and whispered "I don't know how far 6 inches is!" And then proceeded to laugh hysterically at himself.
It was just a little snapshot of my time there but for some reason has stuck with me all these years and makes me laugh every single time.
Your sweet family is in my prayers. I cannot even fathom what you are going through. I only know that our Father in Heaven has a plan for us. He's an amazing man and I'm so happy you have him for eternity.
Thanks for sharing this story with me. It reminds me of all the times he did similar things... always so cheeky.lol. Your comment made me smile and reminds me of what a great life he lived. Thank you. x
DeleteI just found out about your blog from the TOFW website, and wanted you to know that you and your family are being prayed for by this humble sister in Alberta, Canada!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being an example of FAITH to me! May our Father in Heaven bless you always!
Thanks Kate. I appreciate your message. x
DeleteThank you for sharing your story and your feelings with us. As I read your blog, I was overcome with so much love for you...as I'm sure many others have felt. You are in my prayers, Teri lyn. May you continue to walk in faith, believing our Heavenly Father knows you personally, hears your prayers, and holds you in the arms of His love. Much love to you from Colorado!
ReplyDeleteThank you. x
Deletebeautiful words Terilyn. Love from Ash & James Aspinall. We'll be following you from here: ashjames.blogspot.com xo!
ReplyDeleteLove you guys. Think of ya'll often. xox
DeleteYou ARE strong and beautiful! Our family will be praying for your continued strength! Your faith and courage are great! Thank you for sharing your words straight from the depths of your heart. My heart aches for you. We send you so much love from the Mills family in Florida. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachel. x
DeleteSister Terilyn, thank you for sharing your experiences with us (World RS). I know it takes courage and strength...it is obvious that you have both. You and your precious family with be in my thoughts and prayers. With much love, Sarah Allred
ReplyDeleteP.S. This helped me in a time of loss: "When sorrow, tragedy, or heartbreak occur in our lives wouldn't it be comforting if when the whisperings of God say, 'Do you know why this has happened to you?' we could have the peace of mind to answer, 'No, but you do.'"- Marvin J. Ashton
Thank you for sharing the quote. It is something I think of often. We have felt your thoughts and prayers. x
DeleteI saw your story on TOFW and also through our friends Latu and Muli Kinikini. I'm about the same age with kids the same age and about 10 weeks behind you on being pregnant. I KNOW you must be a strong woman for the lord to know you can make it through this! I'm in Aus as well but I wanted you to know that brothers and sisters all over the world are praying for you and your family. You are so special and I pray you guys will have some peace through this trying time.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words Melissa, I hope your pregnancy went well. Have you had baby yet? What did you have? What did you name him/her?
DeleteLoads of love. x
Loved this post! Keep the faith sister and you will have your sweetheart back for your eternal family. xox much love from Meliame from Ashlynne Ward :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Meliame. Hope you're well. Ofa lahi atu. x
DeleteI am sending you all the love that I have today! This post made me cry....
ReplyDeleteI, too, have experienced loss... a different kind of loss than yours... but I do understand the grief of an unexpected life. I have a sweet friend who experienced a similar experience as you and I wanted you to read her story. Her name is Julie and she is amazing. Truly. Just like you. I met Julie and I have found in my own personal life and amidst my own personal hardships, that a friend who understands can make all of the difference.
You can read her story at http://www.mynameisjacy.com/2012/10/my-name-is-julie_5.html
I am cheering for you.... our situations may be different.... but the healing is the same... and we are all sisters in battle.
Your new friend,
Jacy
[.s. I can't wait to more of your journey because out of the pain and hell and anguish and complete and utter sadness, come the most rewarding of lessons, compassion and love.
Big HUGE hugs!
Holy moly the typos... sorry! Here's what the last part SHOUDL say :)
Deletep.s. I can't wait to read more of your journey because out of the pain and hell and anguish and complete and utter sadness, come the most rewarding of lessons, compassion and love.
Thank you so much for sharing!!! I love her blog, and can relate so much to her! I sobbed reading it but it was beautiful. It helps knowing that someone has walked the path before me. She knows how I feel and what I'm thinking. Very similar to what I am going through now. x
DeleteOur thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story of incredible faith and hope. X
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know ... you are not alone. Obviously a loving Heavenly Father is with you through these times. But we are too ... your global family of Saints. I will be praying for you and for your babies and sending love from from the States.
ReplyDeleteTerilyn keep up with the blog it is a tender mercy to you as well as all of us. Surround yourself with the hymns when it just seems unbearable for you and your children. Know that there is love coming your way in prayers and energy. Never loose site of your eternal family and all will be well. Time will lessen the pain, give yourself in service that will help, too. Tears, love, prayers and hugs to you and the children
ReplyDeleteI found your blog from the TOFW website. I just want to thank you for sharing your strength, faith and courage. It reminds us that each day is precious and that the testimony of the Savior is our greatest treasures along with our family. Thank you for sharing your experience with the promptings in 2010. Our prayers are with you and your family during this most difficult time. Being a part of a large family of Saints you will never be alone, you will always be in someone's prayers. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteJust saw on TOFW that your little guy has arrived!!! Congratulations, he's sooo beautiful!! My heart believes that he, too has been spending some one on one time with your dear husband. Wishing you many joyful moments holding your precious ones close. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteLook at how many Woman are drawing strength from you..I'm grateful that I got to see your ulavale side in Primary and YW's..it was very hard trying to teach a strong headed woman such as yourself..but Im grateful and to see how much you have grown and how much strength you have..is very humbling and to see that you are still strong in the gospel is such a blessing. Your husband's right Teri, you are beautiful in every way..Thank you for sharing your story, I've had to read this again and I love it..Love you Teri and your beautiful babies!!
ReplyDeleteTeri lyn,
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have shed tears as we've learned of your story & loss. (Have dropped by from TOFW site)
May your beautiful new baby bring much joy & healing to your family.
Sending you my love.
xo Melissa