Wednesday 28 August 2013

Daily learning

First of all, my heart overflows with gratitude for all the love and support from near and far in the last 24 hours alone. I have found so much strength and comfort in the words that I have read.

This week has been such a roller coaster. And it's not the end of the week yet!

My daughters Ashlyn (5) & Caitlyn (3) have so many questions...

Where is Dad?

When can we see him again?

Is he with Jesus Christ?

I am glad they are asking questions and I am able to talk to them about it. I taught through Family Home Evening; The Plan of Salvation. It has cleared up a lot for my girls. Now Caitlyn is asking: "When are we going to die so that we can see Dad again?"

How grateful I am to have that knowledge of Heavenly Fathers Plan for us! I have learnt that "Within the general plan of salvation for all mankind, there are individual plans of salvation for all men and women."( Brad Wilcox, The Continuous Conversion 39)

I recall at the end of 2010 my husband was admitted to hospital with chest pains and as he was lying in the hospital bed I couldn't help but notice what seemed to be a loud voice in my head saying, "What have you got in place to look after your children if anything happened to Daniel?", "Do you have Life Insurance?", "Do you have a Will?" And as I look back, that was when Heavenly father started warning me to get all of these things in order. I have had so many strong promptings to write a Will for both my Husband and I since that experience. But being consumed with everyday life and also telling myself, we're so YOUNG! Why do I need to do a Will now...It just doesn't make any sense? ...I never got around to writing one.
Well it all made too much sense yesterday, and hit me like a ton of bricks when I went to sort out some of our finances and everyone is asking, "Did Daniel have a Will?"
The Lord knows us individually and knows our needs... With every trial since 2010 I felt as if Heavenly Father has been pleading to me "Please Terilyn, Write a Will!" "Make sure you've got your Life Insurance sorted!" He did his best to warn me; but in the end whether I made something of those promptings or not, Heavenly Father had to continue on with his plan.
We may never know why promptings come and when we will need what we are prompted to do. But the Lord certainly does!

One of my husbands best friends posted a quote from Richard G. Scott on Facebook recently "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit."
This statement is all so real to me. It feels like it's just been a snowball effect of trials the last few years. Through each trial we have faced, my husband and I would sit down and discuss: Have we done anything wrong? Why has this happened to us?, What does Heavenly Father want us to learn from this? And I'm glad we did.
At the time of those trials I felt they were just too big and too hard to get through...Little did I know that through those trials Heavenly Father was preparing me for the biggest and hardest challenge of all; and that it would be one I would have to face without my companion here to discuss and go through. As tough as it is missing my husband and wishing he was here to council with me. I am glad we did that in the past and I know what to do now because of it.

I am grateful for my knowledge of Gods plan. I am grateful to know that I am a daughter of God who knows and loves me for me! I know that God cares for me and knows me and my children's needs.


With love,

Terilyn x






Friday 23 August 2013

An Unexpected Chapter

Ok, The kids are asleep and I have a bit of time to myself...Wow! I've never written a blog before and I don't really know where to start...!

A lot has changed in the last three weeks and I can feel myself changing at the same time.
If anyone would have told me a few years ago that I would be a 25 year old widow; I would think that would be IMPOSSIBLE to deal with. And just the thought of losing your best friend and lover makes me breath uneasy. It seems so crazy and still so surreal...I haven't lost the plot yet. But I find myself getting through each day working on auto pilot and kind of numb at times to the whole situation.
It's been just over three weeks now since my husband passed away suddenly at the young age of 31. I have 3 beautiful children under the age of 6 and I'm 37weeks pregnant with our 4th child.

This year started off rough (financially) with my husband tearing his achilles tendon and spending 5 months off work to recover. It was tough since we couldn't get any financial assistance from the government. But I learnt that the Lord does provide. Especially to those who are faithful and obedient.

Looking back on the last 6-7months we've had with my husband, it's been more than a blessing. I feel like Heavenly Father knew exactly what he was doing when he planned to take my husband back and so he gave us all of that time to spend with him, love him, kiss him and hug him.
Being heavily pregnant my husband did so much around the house and he took the lead to look after our children, so he spent 24/7 with the kids. That in itself I am so grateful for. Our son who turned 1 on the day my husband passed away pretty much spent his whole life being looked after by his father, and as hard as it is to know he won't be around for the next however many years of my sons life, I feel I can only be grateful for the memories captured for my son to see as he grows up.

I know that GOD has a plan for all of us. We don't know what that plan is right now, but he is mindful of us all and our needs.
As I reflect on my husbands life events before we met and the time we had together, I am blessed to see Heavenly Fathers plan unfold and his hand in all things. I can see that my husband was never promised to me for the rest of my life. He came into my life to mould me and to teach me the many life lessons that I have learnt from him. He told me everyday that he loved me (Yes, even when he was angry with me) and that I was a beautiful and strong women. As I look back I can see that had he not done those things I wouldn't be the woman I am today. I know I'll never get over it but those comforting words (that I can still hear him saying) from my husband a long with my faith and testimony I can get through it a day at a time.

God may have not promised my sweetheart to me for the rest of my life, but he has promised that if I can be faithful and obedient I will have my darling again for ETERNITY and that is something I look forward to!

Lots of praying and pondering plus scripture study is helping me through the beginning of this unexpected chapter in life.